GPS Mentoring Experience
I was offered a place on the GPS program right in the midst of an emotional meltdown. I'd lost my direction in a sense. I thought I knew where I wanted to go but I didn't.
That's what caused the meltdown. It was when I realised the real reasons I was heading in the direction I was going. I thought I had chosen that direction consciously and didn't give any credit to my internal guidance system that all along was screaming that I was going the wrong way.
Who teaches us to listen to our own guidance in this world? No one taught me so I was making decisions the only way that I knew, with my conditioned mind.
I struggled through the GPS program itself because I was still in the midst of the turmoil. What was so traumatic for me was that I was letting go of a false identity I had been acting out, an identity that I swore blind was me, but it wasn't.
I realised I'd spent 7 years doing almost everything because my mind told me 'I should do this' and 'I shouldn't do that', I was not happy following those thoughts. But I had no choice, I had no awareness of them, and we cannot choose what we have no awareness of.
Where I'm At Now
My way of being now, 1 year on, is radically different from before.
The biggest change is the pace at which I do things, especially decision making, I've slowed right down.
Another big lesson that I have to practice constantly is 'The Law of Honouring Thyself' from the GPS book. If you've ever not spoken your truth when you really wanted to, if you've ever been in a situation or a relationship that wasn't working FOR YOU but just couldn't seem to get yourself to do anything about it, then you know what 'dishonouring yourself' feels like.
GPS set me on a new path on which I've discovered many new things. Putting everything into action I've managed to completely rid myself of the anxiety I used to feel on a daily basis.
I'm also now much more open to possibilities than before. I used to get so fixated on a specific outcome with no room for movement. That was stressful and limiting.
I'm now in a different space where I allow things to come to me and then respond to them based on my own vision of success and happiness (which are not based on 'should' or 'shouldn't').